Crows

"The Quiet Earth," I said to myself, referring to that 80's movie where a man finds himself literally all alone in the world, as I walked through a big, empty park. It was early Sunday morning and I was walking to church as I missed the bus that comes only every twenty minutes. The quietness and the cold were giving me goosebumps.

Waark! Waaark! A loud scratchy caw sliced through the silence. It was from a crow perched on a bare tree branch. Waark! Waark! Several other crows joined him. I almost ran. It was like a scene from a horror movie.

One of the first things I noticed in Geneva were the birds. Whereas in the Philippines, we had those tiny brown birds, here they have fat pigeons and big black crows all over the place. Pigeons are cute -when they are not leaving excrement on your balcony or windowsill - but crows are scary.

Today, as I walked down the hill from the Bocage at the UN, I saw three crows pecking on the ground. They were on my path. To me, they looked liked they owned the area and might get mad if I pass by. I opted to go back up... But I saw it was a long way up. So I decided to continue going down... I almost had a heart attack when two of the birds flapped their wings and flew towards me. I was almost sure they were going to strike me with their sharp beaks...

I do not know why I get scared of crows. Maybe because of their eerie grating cry. Maybe I have watched too many movies relating them to danger or evil. Maybe because crows are predators and scavengers. Maybe I am influenced by the Visayan stories of the Wakwak, a bird-like witch that preys on people and goes "waakk waakk" when it looks for a victim.

...But then the birds didn't attack me. They went back to the ground and continued eating.

I stood there and I stared at them for a while. As my heart rate returned to normal, I realized I anticipate problems too much, too often. Fears and worries get the better of me.

It's human nature to worry and to fear something. These can be useful. Worry can make us anticipate future events and resolve problems beforehand. Fear tells us of danger and can prevent us from doing something harmful. But sometimes we worry and fear too much, and about too many things. We are scared of ghosts, failure, change, rejection, going to the dentist, dying, flying, falling, falling in love, losing someone, losing money, looking stupid, getting old and getting crow's feet...

The list can go on. But last Sunday, we aptly reflected on a scripture with crows in it. In Luke 12:22-24, ²²Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having something to eat or wear. ²³Life is more than food or clothing. ²⁴Look at the crows! They don't plant or harvest, and they don't have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them. You are much more important than any birds.*

As I looked at the crows, I realized that they do "own" the area. God has provided food for them to eat everywhere. And the God who provides for these birds is the same God who has lovingly shown me, time and again, that He never fails.

God has faithfully provided for me here in Geneva. Friends have been generous -- giving me food, clothes, all that I need. God granted me my permits, gave me a job, just at the right time.
God gave me a loving community and beautiful opportunities. My family back home has been very supportive.

I still worry sometimes, I get insecure, I get scared. But through many circumstances where all I can do is cry and pray, "Lord, ikaw na bahala," God is slowly teaching me to put my full trust in Him.

As I continued down the hill, I descended slowly as not to disturb the birds. One slow step by one slow step... just like my faith journey... one slow step at a time, I am giving all my inadequacies to my perfect God, and lifting all my concerns and plans to the Almighty.

Hopefully, the next time I hear crows caw, I will be reminded that I have nothing to be afraid of... Because God will take care of me, as He always has.

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*CEV, GNT version. Other versions mention ravens.